Scale of Suffering

To chart progress through the various establishments and eating experiences, one must at this point introduce some way of recording the heat experience in a meaningful manner.
And so I am introducing the "Scale of Suffering" as a way of grading each experience. The SOS relates to the most intense heat experience I have ever encountered, and I remember it well.
After a miserable Friday at work, I went with a few buddies and hit the town, after which we attended the Light of Bengal on Yorkshire street, for a Curry.
I foolishly ordered a Vindaloo with instructions to make it as hot as could be. It was the most intense heat I have experienced, ever. I won't dwell on it, but suffice to say that it represents a maximum 100 on the SOS scale, and all future experiences will be graded against this.

To accompany the scale -
Mild - Just a hint of heat, perhaps just enough to recognize it as a pepper sauce, containing perhaps a Jalapeno or whatever.

Medium - Perhaps a Tabasco, or maybe a little hotter. To most chileheads, Tabasco doesn't even register on the heat scale, but this guide is aimed more at the novice person, without much heat preconditioning.

Hot - It starts to burn a little and causes a few perspiration beads under the eyes etc. It'll give your mouth a nice warm heat sensation that should stick around for at least a few minutes.

Shit Hot - This stuff burns. It generally causes a case of the hiccups and certainly starts off the chile sweats. Your mouth, including lips and tongue will be on fire, and it will steadily move down your esophagus and end up all the way into your bowls, usually within a few hours.